Did you know
that the Golf 'n Grille has only had one golf related injury? A
Houston businessman participating in the 2000 GnG was struck by an
errant golf ball that lodged between his cheekbone and nose.
Only temporary paralysis resulted from the mishap. Click Here to
see the rare footage. A misdemeanor charge of
"impersonating a golfer" was dropped against Chad Burbrink
who struck the errant shot, when Rob Lindroos failed to press charges.
Feast on These!!
If your divot continuously travels farther than your ball, consider
reading as a pastime.
Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies
obscured by the occasional miracle.
The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil (Chi Chi
Rodriguez)
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the
wrong golf ball. (Jack Lemmon)
To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add
correctly.
Some golfers believe 'overclubbing' can be corrected by
'overlooking' or 'undercounting.' When
using a caddie it can also be corrected by 'overtipping.'
Tee your ball high...air offers less resistance than dirt.
(Jack Nicklaus)
It's not whether you win or lose...it's whether I win or
lose.
If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the
snow, even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip: your life is in
trouble.
The term 'mulligan' is really a contraction of the phrase
'maul it again.'
Why is it that when you tell yourself, 'don't hit it in the
water' your body only seems to hear the word 'water'?
A 'gimme' can best be defined as an agreement between two
golfers. .neither of whom can putt very well.
An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly
you play, it is always possible to get worse.
The members who command the best service at your golf club
either have the lowest handicaps or the
highest bar bills.
Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to
produce a graceful result. (Tommy Armour)
Many Wall Street brokers believe that a stroke does not
really occur unless it was observed by
more than one person.
If you find your self pleased that you locate more balls in
the rough than you actually have lost, your focus is totally wrong and
your personality might not be right for golf...it is also just a
matter oftime before the IRS investigates your business.
Why is it twice as difficult to hit a ball over water than
sand?
You know your golf game is improving when you start missing
shots much closer than you used to.
The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your
name...and they say golf is a quiet game.
The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you
can't see him laughing at you. (Phyllis Diller)
Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice
it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next
day you go out and, for no reason at all, you
really stink. (Bob Hope)
Only a stupid golfer throws his club behind him. The smart
golfer throws his club ahead so he can pick it up on the way to the
next hole. (Corollary: clubs don't float.)
The reason it's call golf is that all the other four-letter
words were already taken. (Dr. Vincent Manjoney)
If you have lost more than four balls on any given hole, for
safety reasons, let your partner drive the cart.
If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the
game would be played far better than it is. (Horace Hutchinson)
Golf's three ugliest words: still your shot. (Dave Marr)
He who has the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie. (Mickey
Mantle)
Golf is like marriage: if you take yourself too seriously it
won't work...and both are expensive.
|